It Never Found Me
LonelyI think about you every night
Before I go to sleep
You are in my dreams.'
I had an awesome weekend, I graduated, I got drunk, I laughed, I told jokes without punchlines, I hung out with friends, I took a beautiful girl to my formal and today I had a great time spending money and hanging with my sister. But I feel so miserable, I feel so alone, I feel like this sadness will never end. Next weekend I head over to Vanuatu for a holiday with a great friend and I can't allow that to cheer me up. I'm pathetic on my own. The IDEA of liking, wanting, needing a girl has overcome me because that means company, that means someone is there to fucking let me know they care. I don't want to be fucking dependant. Lots of my friends tell me I'm really fucking funny, at moments like these that scares me, there are so many comedians and funny actors who are depressive, humour is their way of coping, what if it's my fucking way? I DON'T WANT THIS! I don't fucking want to be alone, I don't want to not want to be alone. I don't want my closest friend to have died when I was 14. I don't want to lose anyone. I don't want to have depression. I don't want to have back spasms and a crooked spine at 17. I don't want to die alone.
'The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread.'
If I look for a second like I couldn't go on
I will never believe that is what I've become
I cannot believe that the damage is done
For nobody else will I admit I've not won
My blood is worth the spillage
My veins, pathways for liquid greatness
Not once will I stumble, never will I fucking fall
What's mine, I will find, only in time
Fuck the disbelievers, fuck you who don't believe
Fuck those who speak against me
Fuck the thought of greed
Sometimes I hate myself for feeling like I just can't handle everything. But I know I can't help how I feel, I can't just fucking say 'Feel good'. It doesn't work that way. FUCK MY BACK. Sometimes those who pretend to be the most mature, the most knowledgable, are the least in both.
'How can I be the only one without a smile on my face?'
idk if youd have to register there but its free anyway lol but a lot of them are kinda lovey dovey sucky because i was kinda stuck in a rut for awhile. the older ones are usually the better ones.
anyway
hope all is well
-Desiree.
--
You Don't Know What Love Is You Just Do As Your Told
R.B.R ~ Join The Russell Brand Revolution
Cheese Is A Type Of Meat, A Tasty Yellow Beef
Forever the Wolf In Me Will Desire The Sheep In You - Toumas Holopainen
--
"In her world of dreams and make believe
she reigns forever with all her glory
in this world of endless fantasy
she makes it happen It's her reality..."
--
No one can last and we're all gonna die so I say
Fuck tradition, let's break some shit
Everything that this life gives you
Is another that it can take away
So if you have it, use it
Because one day, it will be gone
--
The real difference btwn Romeo & Juliet and twilight is: while Shakespeare shows mercy by killing off the two characters for being idiots. Meyer punishes us by immortalizing them.
They say laughter is the best medicine. Twilight must be curing the world.
--
You Don't Know What Love Is You Just Do As Your Told
R.B.R ~ Join The Russell Brand Revolution
Cheese Is A Type Of Meat, A Tasty Yellow Beef
Forever the Wolf In Me Will Desire The Sheep In You - Toumas Holopainen
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